Friday, February 17, 2012

(this post contains things about poop. girls (me) pooping. if you choose to believe girls don't do such thinsg or you are already grossed out don't read. it also contains things about jesus and you'll laugh i bet so read it anyway)

today was literally too insane not to post about. and i'm still laughing about it. and god is so good in it so it's not even bad. so to preface today-i've had diarrhea for 2 weeks now and have had one cycle of antibiotics that did nothing. week 2 (this week) has been a lot better, my stomach hasn't hurt as much and i've not been completely pooping my brains out. just like 10 times a day. it's worse at night. so last night it got real bad and not right (spared you some details be grateful) so i was like okay i should prob go to another doctor. so my boss called her doctor and she said she'd squeeze me in. great. we also have 40 people here for a ski/snowboard weekend so there are like 25 kids running around all middle school age insane which is really funny but wild. so we were trying to get the kids in the vans this morning to go to the mountain and i went to start my car to go to the doctor and it wouldn't start so we tried to jump it and it wouldn't even jump. cool man. so got in the jeep with ryan and we came to the hotel to drop off the food blah blah blah i was really pissed that my car wouldn't start and that i had to go back to the doctor.

got to the hotel dropped stuff off went with ryan to interpret for 25 kids renting skis, boots, helmets, and snowboards (so not cool) and then my boss was all why are you still here why didn't you take the jeep i was like uh i dunno. so she drew me a map of aspen to find this doctor. i can't follow maps at all and driving other peoples cars scares me. so i'm like driving this jeep to aspen and somehow by the grace of god i get to the doctor and they let me go right in and see dr kim. she's super cool and literally at one point says well fuck, here's a cup shit in it and take it to the hospital as soon as you do so it doesn't go bad. i'm not even making this up. so i call my boss and tell her i'll just stay in aspen until i poo in this cup because the hospital is there. well so i sit in the library and fall asleep while i eat lunch then sit in the bathroom for half an hour and nothing. i go shopping, i walk around, i pet a few dogs, still nothing. after all night and two weeks of pooping constantly i got nothing. so i drive back to the mountain and the gas light comes on and the level goes waaaay below E and I still have to drive up this mountain. so i'm like god if you exist help a sister out please. so i find a gas station and almost get rear ended and then it's all good.

anyway. so God was all over this day because i could of had a lottttt worse of an attitude all day because everything went wrong. oh yeah, my car got towed, it needs a new starter which they don't have in the shop so they have to order one so baby car won't be returned to me until next week. but God provided Ryan and the jeep and free parking, and a library to hang out in, and books for my best friends birthday at a thrift store for 50 cents, and my boss letting me drive her car and texting me a lot and laughing with me at how awkward my life is, and chelsea hearne, mary, and erica getting to laugh with me all day and pray with me all day.

i just got back home, it's almost 7 and i didn't poop all day until i got back to my house at 530 THEN i pooped so i had to get back in the jeep and SPEED to aspen (about 30 minutes away) because the test was void after 30 minutes and the lady at the front desk was super slow but asked questions and was funny and then the lab guy took my sample and i said goodnight have fun and chelsea and i laughed about it the whole way home.

so, the lord provides even if it's in laughter. and really only erica may think this post is funny but it's my life. i like unicorns.

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