Wednesday, August 25, 2010

re·deem

–verb (used with object)
1.
to buy or pay off; clear by payment: to redeem a mortgage.
2.
to buy back, as after a tax sale or a mortgage foreclosure.
3.
to recover (something pledged or mortgaged) by payment orother satisfaction: to redeem a pawned watch.
4.
to exchange (bonds, trading stamps, etc.) for money orgoods.
5.
to convert (paper money) into specie.
6.
to discharge or fulfill (a pledge, promise, etc.).
7.
to make up for; make amends for; offset (some fault,shortcoming, etc.): His bravery redeemed his youthfulidleness.
8.
to obtain the release or restoration of, as from captivity, by paying a ransom.


i am redeemed. and i didn't have to pay the ransom.

Thursday, August 19, 2010

the summer after my sophomore year of high school I became a Christian. Here is my xanga post from after camp. Yeah, I had a xanga.

I got on the bus to come home and finally got my mp3 player back and turned it on and smiled at Nick then clicked on Play Any Track and this song came on and I started to cry. Anna&Zoe&Em might agree, it's exactly how I'm feeling.
Side Note---A longggg time ago Katie Carson was giving a sermon at church and she said "Love is the answer you've been looking for." and that quote has stuck with me since then and has been in my profiles and probably in here too but one of the talks this week was about love. and I found it. I just got home 2 hours ago and at 930ish came upstairs and turned on my computer and pulled up iTunes and the first song that played is this song. And its so true.
" I found love, didn’t even know I needed it
But I found love, never even crossed my mind
I found love, had a garden never weeded it
But I found love, took an apple just in time"

Four years ago I found love. Four years later after my sophomore year of college my faith got rocked at discipleship focus in tennessee. This is what I learned.

The moon is round
our purpose in life is to love the Lord.
everyone's needs are: security, significance, and purpose
I am unconditionally loved and that God's purpose is good and he is always in control.
sin makes us desperately dependent on God
we are children of God because of the fall
we must be desperately dependent on Him.
i need to pray for God's attitudes and emotions and for His heart towards situations and people
my circumstances won't change but if I find my joy from the Lord it doesn't matter
my salvation is not dependent on the lack of sin in my life
i am the branch, he is the vine.
we must remain & abide in Him always.
God can use pain for good.
we need to present everything to Him.
God transforms and conforms us. we don't have to do it.
we are commanded to not be anxious
i don't have to feel free to know i am free.
we can't even be Christians without God.
present circumstances, emotions, attitudes
when facing a decision we should ask if we really even trust and want Gods will for us.
i am more controlling than i ever knew.
i cannot do anything on my own
exodus 16 is true.
my sin, not in part, but in whole is nailed to the cross and i bear it no more.


i'm free.

four years ago I found love and stumbled through life. i was dictated by my feelings, my friends feelings, feelings boys had towards me. i found worth in my appearance (i had a classy mirror picture as my profile picture on my xanga), found worth in boys, and found worth in being different than everyone else. i knew nothing about sin.

now my life is dictated by the lord, what he says about me, and what i know to be true. i find my worth in Him, and still too often in myself and in boys. i know entirely too much what sin looks like in my life. i also know that i'm set free and i don't have to be shameful or guilty or have a heavy heart about it. i knew a lot about pain four years ago and know a ton more about it now. i also know that God really does cause all things for good, and i'm finally okay not knowing why but with trusting Him.

that's a part of my summer. This post secret from 4 years ago is still true.

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i am 12 days into being a married woman and i am finding more joy and more mourning than i expected. i changed my name last week and cri...