(this blog post also contains poop)

apparently my life feels the need to be super action packed lately. this is another ridiculous story that is hilarious and has the lord all over it. last night after much reluctance and insistance from the GI doctor in shelby, the dr in aspen, and my boss I ended up in the ER. Chelsea came with me and we laughed and cussed the whole way there because we didn't know why I was going or being forced to go because they wouldn't actually do anything for me. So we got there and first off, aspen hospital doesn't have a waiting room you walk in and have to pick up a phone and call the front desk. my conversation went like this

nurse: hello
me: uh hi i'm standing in the lobby
nurse: what can I do for you?
me: uh can I come in?
nurse: do you need to see a doctor
me: yeah that'd be real great

no I was just chilling. weird. so the nurse took me to a room and made me take my clothes off and put a gown on and it was real cute (pictures to come via chelsea) so this nurse man comes in named Raymond and he's great I hand him a detailed note describing everything from the past 3 weeks he would need to know and he said I instantly became his favorite patient because I had all the info he needed. So he was funny and made me laugh and then left and I had to go real bad so I unhooked myself from stuff and ran down the hallway back to where the phone was and the doors were locked so i did the poop dance and ray saw me and let me in and put socks on me and made me poop in a bowl and said thank you very much and i said yeah sorry bout it. then chelsea and I got time to just hang out and talk about drugs and deaf camp and life and families and it was so good. she's the best. thennnnn the doctor came in, he was great. but wasn't funny. then he left and we chilled for a bit and i went to the bathroom some more and then steve came in with a big tub of needles and i said whoa nowwww. i told him i didn't have any veins and he kinda believed me but not really and stuck me twice with no blood. so then homegirl comes in and she's weird but she sticks me twice and literally tries to draw the blood out with a syringe and it won't come. i said told you steve i don't have any blood. then she tries to stick the back of my hand and doesn't let the alcohol dry first so it goes in with the needle and burns soooo bad so i go HOLY SHIT and ray and chelsea laugh a lot and it hurt bad. and was still unsuccessful so then ray puts gloves filled with hot water on my arms and it's real cute and calls me a honey badger and i don't know what that means but apparently it's a youtube video and him and chelsea laugh and then he says he'll bring me his ipad to watch it. he tells me i'm the best a lot which made me feel good because i was trying to be and he was the best so it was mutual. so then he tried to draw blood and couldn't (stick number 3) and i told him along with everyone else to count 1 2 3 so i was ready for it and he told me he wouldn and then he didnt! he stuck me and i said YOU DIDNT COUNT and he freaked out and apologized so much and we laughed and he was like YOU HAVE TO BREATHE which i forgot so i did. he couldn't get blood and he said he wasn't going to stick me again so then this old lady comes in and says she can do it so she goes for my hand again and tries so hard and digs real hard and chelsea holds my hand and i try to gouge my eyeball out because it hurts so bad and she stops and is like okay 6 sticks i'm not sticking you again just let me look and i was like no you can if you find something and she did but wasn't going stick me and i said no really it's okay it's not the end of the world so i pray real hard jesus let it work and IT DID. good to go. so then ray brings me his ipad and i watch the honey badger and laugh SO much because it's funny and i'm so relieved they got blood. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4r7wHMg5Yjg) ray was right I am a honey badger so we laughed about that while we waited for my test results and chelsea and i watched shit nobody says and laughed and watched glozell and then i just put on john butler trio to chill me out. it was so good. thennnnn ray comes back and tells me i have to have a colonoscopy on the asap and i said uh i don't want a camera shoved up my butt and he said me either i have to have one this year too and we  became twins. and that was that. he was the best nurse ever and i'm so grateful for him.

got home, still laughing about how absurd our night was and how we are such a dream team with the buddy system and then i got home and went to the bathroom and it was all blood. so i cried a little because i was scared and told chelsea. i had some water and slept from like 12 to 5 perfectly then peoples alarms started going off and i texted my boss asking her if i had to go to breakfast and she said no so i slept until like 8 and it was so good. i haven't gotten good sleep since this all started so it was so good i was grateful for it. then today i've just called doctors and tried to get my antibiotic the er doctor put me on to no avail...yet. still working on it and cried some and talked to erica and bought a people magazine and kiwi strawberry snapple and that's about it. i feel good. haven't gone to the bathroom since i woke up and have eaten twice and have felt good.

i'm pretty scared though. scared about all the blood, scared about maybe having a colonoscopy, scared that i'm so far away from everyone i love (including chelsea who went back to work today and i won't see her for two weeks). erica volunteered to throw rocks in the lake for me which is good for my soul.

i got baby car back today though which i wasn't expecting which is fun so i drove home from the pharmacy with the windows down feeling good.

the lord is so good. i didn't want to go to the ER at all and even cried about it but chelsea made it fun and we laughed a lot and ray was literally an angel. without him it would of sucked so hardcore. grateful that they drew blood. grateful they took another poo sample, grateful for youtube videos and ipads. grateful for the boys (i got to hang with them in snowmass yesterday during the day and then text them a lot last night which was cool that they cared) and grateful for a hot shower after the er last night and for incredibly peaceful sleep and for not really having to work today and for texts and calls and prayers.

it'll be okay.