i am listening to called me higher by all sons & daughters and holding back tears. today has changed me.

Cause You have called me higher

You have called me deeper

And I'll go where You will lead me Lord

until 11 am this morning I had fleas. I think I got them saturday or sunday from the cats and dogs in the house in the city. I'm not sure. but I couldnt even sleep Monday night because my head itched so bad. I wasn't going to tell anyone though because I was too scared. Also, I wasn't sure if it was fleas or lice and I didn't want to gross anyone out. So I stopped washing my hair because I heard that they like clean hair better than dirty hair. Coincidentilly I wanted to stop using shampoo anyway and try to transition to just washing my hair with water so I thought it would work. It didnt. Still itched. Still didnt want to tell anyone my gross secret.

Today I was tossing a ball with some girls and Diana asked if she could wash my hair. I thought this was weird but she was washing everyone else's hair too so I said why not. She cut it a few days ago and if she saw the fleas she didn't say anything about them. So she washed it and told me it was a medicated shampoo for fleas because all the girls had fleas too. I got them in the city though so I guess these things just happen. So she washed my hair and all the girls hairs and then she literally spent the next 30 minutes using a flea comb going through my hair. Let me tell you. Flea city. Sick nasty. I kept apologizing and I was crying because of how dirty I felt and how she didn't even care she just kept singing No more fleas no more fleas no more fleas and telling me it was okay and telling the fleas to get out of my head.At one point she exclaimed that I really did live here now that I had fleas like everyone else. Glad this is what it takes to be considered a local. I watched as the girls all carefully combed through each others hair. No one made anyone feel ashamed, no one laughed at how gross it was, they just accepted that this was life and did what they had to do to get rid of the gross and then we all ate lunch. After Diana was done combing my hair and announced me flea free I immediately picked up the comb and started combing through my young friend Vitoria's hair. After she was declared flea free she asked me to braid her hair and we laughed and she told me to try again so I braided it again. That was it. My head doesnt itch any more.

I am overwhelmed with grace. First off-that God loves me enough to provide for me even in the little things like flea shampoo. It was just random that Diana asked to wash my hair, I didnt tell her it itched and she didn't ask me if I had fleas or not. She just decided to wash it and see. Thank you God. Second off-I have never so evidently seen or been the hands and feet of Jesus as I saw and was today. Utmost the other day talked about the New Testament version of a saint- not one who merely proclaims the gospel but one who becomes the broken bread and poured out wine in the hands of Jesus for the sake of others. This was it. Loving each other-washing each others hair, combing through it, picking out fleas, massaging the flea dirt out of each others hair.

Everything about today reminded me of the gospel. From myself wanting to hide my shame and dirty parts and try to take care of it on my own without medicine, to being offered a hair wash without asking for one, to Diana taking her sweet time to make sure every last flea was gone, to loving me, to then me extending that grace to others because of what had been done for me.

I am so grateful that God loves me enough to remind me of Himself everywhere every day. I am grateful that I have eyes to notice Him. I am grateful that he cares about me--even tiny parts of me like fleas on my head. I am so grateful.

I know this blog was gross. But, I hope you see how amazing this all is. And you can pray that I don't get fleas again. Or maybe that I do if I need to be reminded of God's love some more.