life has been a little hard lately. the week before last was the busiest week of the year getting ready for camp and it was also the 6 year mark of my best friend Jessica dying. Sunday ended with a lot of driving, a lot of crying, and a trip to target. this week was less busy and we were nicer to each other and i was happier. then friday happened and i got sad again and realized that i had made a dumb decision. so more driving and crying and smoking cigars happened. i bought some kool aid and we watched friends and were sad together last night. then christine told me (after she told me it was okay to mope) that i should read psalm 103. i forgot about it until i looked at bible gateway today and it was the verse of the day. well that's great. so i read it. and it was good.

Bless the Lord, O my soul,
    and forget not all his benefits,
³ who forgives all your iniquity,
    who heals all your diseases,
⁴ who redeems your life from the pit,
    who crowns you with steadfast love and mercy,
⁵ who satisfies you with good

he redeems my life from the pit and satisfies me with good. we've been listening to a lot of spoken word recently and i want someone to turn this into spoken word because it is good. i learned this week that i'm still not good at trusting the lord. sometimes i think i'm good at it and then the bottom falls out and it turns out i'm not. this is a good reminder though. he wants to do all these things for me. he wants to forgive me for being a dumb girl, he wants to heal me (that's another blog post for another day), he wants to redeem me, he wants to satisfy me with good. i don't often feel that he wants to satisfy me with good. i don't think he wants to satisfy me with bad or mediocre things but i think it's hard for me to remember that he wants good for me. i had to remind myself and christine that last week when she was freaking out about a good thing in her life and i had to remind her that it was from god that he wanted to give her this good blessing. we don't have to live in fear , god wants us to have the good life. 

this is a good reminder. a good truth for a new morning. 

i'm setting the sadness on a shelf and i won't remember it.