i don't love summer camp.

and that's okay. its okay that it is hard. it's okay that i'm tired. because summer camp works. crossroads works. i think for the past year since i saw camp last summer i questioned if it worked. i questioned why there were so much emphasis on the staffers and not emphasis on the youth pastors. i questioned if discipleship ever happened. i questioned if decisions to follow christ were ever followed up on. all my questions and fears were denied this week. it works. lives really are changed. my life is changed because of crossroads. i didn't meet the Lord at crossroads summer camp but my life is still different because of crossroads summer camp. i will be a different person after these next 4 weeks.

i lost my voice the first day of camp. i couldn't talk at all and i was sick. i felt like i was never going to get it back or be able to talk to campers or relate at all. the first dinner we had monday night i sat down with two girls brooke and adriana who were both 12. we talked, i asked a lot of questions, we laughed and they understood EVERYTHING i asked them. not once did i have to repeat myself. and i was sick! that night they both decided to follow christ and i got to advise them with my friend kelly. we talked about the lord and we got to pray over them. again, they understood everything. camp works. miracles work. i don't know how my voice came back the moment i needed it to at advising but seriously. praise the lord. all week i had conversations with girls who were patient and fun and it was good. i told jess i'd be okay if camp was over because i really like my life outside of camp but i also get to see miracles happen the next 4 weeks. and i can do it. i can do anything for four weeks. camp works. little girls facebook and instagram stalk like it's their job and for some reason they loved me and received my love enough to want to still be friends with me after this week. i hope they also took home and received the love of Christ moreso than mine.

so, i think it's okay that i am not in love with summer camp. i'm also not on summer break and this is just a fun summer job. this town and these people are my life and my real life goes on...i sent out 50 support letters this week for brazil. i went to presley's bachlorette party, i snuck in some time with sarah thomas. life goes on in this little town i live in, i just have to make the time for it to not pass me by.