Why would I ever want to write a book? Who would ever want to read a book I wrote? the market right now is definitely oversaturated with christian women writing books all with their own truths to tell and vulnerabilities to expose. I say this lightly though because with each book I read about being brave and vulnerable and honest I continue to crave all those things. I don't think they are wrong or lying when they write these books. I don't think they are intentionally giving us breadcrumbs instead of a piece of bread but that is often how I'm left feeling. Don't get me wrong, these are women I appreciate and admire and many have podcasts that I listen to weekly. These women have virtually been in my home, car, on runs with me, laid in bed while I folded laundry, pulled weeds in the garden with me, and lived life in almost every capacity with me.

 I've never written a book so I don't know how it goes. I don't know if anyone sets out to be 100% bold, out there, every secret exposed so that women know they are not alone. I don't know if publishers and editors quietly and swiftly cross things out. My friend Amanda attempted to get a book published once and like many other times in her life, was quickly told that her story was too much and too loud and too honest and too brash for the world. We were not physically together but even now thinking of her story my heart wants to break. Listen, she is loud and honestly one of the biggest personalities in the world and will probably be ridiculously famous one day and we can only hope that those publishers will remember her and feel real bad. But not for long because we are nice girls.

So, why would I want to write a book? 1) my life is pretty funny 2) every time I do write something someone somewhere says You should write a book 3) I'm only 28 years old but I've lived a lot of life. I literally just had to do the math and ask my husband and I'm 27, but maybe by the time anyone reads this I'll be 28! That sounds like a fine age to be. Also, once I fell down a manhole and got hit in the head with a dead bat (not the same day or even in the same hemisphere) so surely this is the kind of book you'd like to read.

I don't have an agenda. I have a lot of stories to tell. I have been thinking long and hard about themes in my life. I'm not sure there are many other than : I'm going to keep saying no to people who tell me I can't do things, I'm going to keep loving and pursuing Jesus all my days, I'm going to fight for honesty, I'm going to trust that the moon is always round, and I'm going to laugh a whole lot while I do it.

I don't know if this will be finished this year or in 5 years from now or when I'm 40 and have lived a lot more life. I don't know if it ever will be. I do know that I love writing and that it is taken a LOT in me to use commas and capital letters and mostly correct grammar. Surely I've done things wrong but maybe this will entice my friend Jan to read things I write. I even used paragraphs Jan!!