this week i've needed a little extra hope. i've found it in billboard signs that say hope, pictures sent to me from old friends reminding me there is hope even in the dumpsters, wearing my hope is real TWLOHA shirt, sitting in the sun watching gilmore girls in between classes, curbside crys, full moons, river walks, running up large hills, and everyone asking me if i am okay because i clearly do not look okay this week.

this week i've been reminding myself over and over that god knows me and loves me and cares about every detail of my life. that he knows funny things like if i'll have braces again. if they will be invisalign or not (i hope they are god). he still knows the friends i'll make in this town. he knows who will mentor me. he knows what i'll do in 18 months when i graduate grad school. these are things i've taken hope in this week.

this week i have not felt like fighting. usually i tell myself to choose joy and when it doesn't seem easy to choose to fight for it. this week i have been defeated and beat down and felt weary to the core. so i am not fighting. i am seeking. and sometimes seeking good treasure takes a long time. so i am slowly picking myself up and trying to not cry in front of professionals and strangers for the 20th time in one day and seeking little hopes. take heart friends, hope is around and its okay if you are too weary to fight. the lord is fighting for you and the holy spirit is groaning along with you. take time to seek and try to find hope because sometimes that is really all we can do.