"you know i've lived on this f-ing mountain too long when i think snooki is hot"
"WHOA YOU HAVE AN OWL TATTOO? owls are super sweet nature spirits around here that is really special"
Wednesday, January 11, 2012
22 degrees is cold. yesterday and today i was supposed to find a photo printer but couldn't find one. instead i found: a dead stuffed bear that gave me a heart attack, a box full of 90's cds that i am going to burn onto my computer (Men In Black soundtrack-yes please) a room full of axes (I REALLY COULD BE IN THE HUNGER GAMES) and a shoebox full of sling shots. last night i watched charlottes web and swiss family robinson with adam keenan and justin. then i hung out with my roommates a bit and the puppies. then everyone else went to bed except justin and i. we just sat at the counter on facebook talking about music, life, tattoos, things we love, loves lost, medical stuff. he was drunk so i don't know if he remembers it. such is life.
Tuesday, January 10, 2012
bloggityblogblog. I'm at work and my boss Lesa is in Denver for the day and my other boss Ryan is asleep. His alarm clock went off for an hour but i wasn't trying to break into his apartment to wake him up. So I'm sitting in the cafeteria with my roommate Chelsie who is probably on facebook. (she was, we just became friends!) So I live in colorado. Weird. I have 2 roommates, Chelsie and Keri. They both went to college together and Keri has worked here many past summers. I also live with Ryan (who I just saw so I guess he woke up). He's Deaf and super great and is easy going and includes me in everything. I also live with 3 dudes who don't work at Aspen Camp but work at a camp down the road teaching autistic kids to ski. They are Justin, Adam, and Keenan. Total ski bums all have dreadlocks and drink PBR and make me laugh a lot. I think they will be my saving grace because I get to talk to them and not in sign language.
The first night (sunday) was major sucky but the Lord made it super good. My phone doesn't work here so I was phone less and had to take my dad to the airport and felt really lonely and scared and sad and rode back with this man named George who drove to the airport and cried the whole way home. The moon was big and beautiful and bright and I stared at it the whole time saying okay God make this good make this good let this be good and it was. I got home to Ryan and Mario (he works here too he's deaf and 43 and tells really funny stories) and Mario's two puppies that understand sign language. I was still crying so I made a real cute first impression. I unpacked and calmed down a bit and Mario told me that him and Ryan were going to Walmart to buy a dvd player and I quickly asked if I could come so I could buy a phone. Went to walmart, we ran around, they let me ride on the cart and Ryan and I talked about God. SO GOOD. Then we just hung out, I was real tired so I went to bed after skyping Mary. Yesterday I just had training all day and kinda felt overwhelmed at not being Deaf but everyone else being Deaf and struggled a bit. It was okay though, I started doing my job (I'm Program Director so really I just do a lot of tasks every day to get ready for upcoming programs this Thursday thru Monday is a Women's Snowshoe Retreat. So I get to learn how to snowshoe and go friday-monday!)
It's cold but so stinking beautiful here that it kinda doesn't matter. It's maybe 12 degrees right now but the sun is out so its okay. The Lord is good and I do have peace and it is such a blessing to have Ryan and the 3 hearing dudes in my house and I'm excited for the friendships I hope to make with my roommates. Life is good and cold and funny.
Wednesday, January 4, 2012
Monday, January 2, 2012
tonight, I have peace. I think it came in the form of my sleeping bag (the second one purchased today-the first was too small). As I laid in my sleeping bag on the kitchen floor with Scout crawling over me I think I felt peace for the first time in a long time. Something inside me just clicked and said it will be alright. As the night progressed I talked to some of my friends on the phone and through texts and they all just know my soul so well. Emily acknoweledged my emotions of sadness and of apprehension and just really saw my heart. Michael encouraged me that God was leading this crazy adventure and it would be okay. Mary texted me a verse about being sealed with the Holy Spirit (and then we took an unbreakable vow to pray and encourage each other every day). Chelsea and Nacho prayed for me. Stokes wished me Merry Christmas because she was at the airport. Jonathan encouraged me about my sleeping bag and told me I would be back soon. I've heard all these encouragements before (basically every day of my life since I decided to go to Colorado) but tonight they were real and true and made my heart smile. I remembered Joshua 1:9 and read it over and over
Haven't I commanded you? Strength! Courage! Don't be timid; don't get discouraged. God, your God, is with you every step you take."
I am not going alone.
Sunday, December 25, 2011
i love you]
I'm writing this in hopes that I can look back on it in four months (or three weeks) and realize how silly I was for feeling this way. This is not the first time I have gotten upset over the thought of moving to Colorado but this time it feels a lot closer and real. I just spent the best weekend ever with two of my brothers and it was seriously the best. Until 11 pm tonight when I had to say bye to Zachary and it was really bye until May. May seems so far away, it is December right now. Then Sam and I sat on the couch and watched more Adventure Time and laughed more and both fell asleep. I woke Sam up and told him we had to go to bed and he said I have to hang out with you tonight and for four more months to make up for the time we won't have. I don't know how I will survive four months without seeing and laughing in person with my best friend. In person, in car rides, in hours on the couch watching Adventure Time, in hard conversations, in laughs till we cry-that is how we are best friends. What will I do without that for four months? What will I do without Broad River Community Church? What will I do without the coffee shop and knowing I will always see my best friends there? What will I do without running endless circles around Boiling Springs and also knowing I am bound to run into someone I know. Where will I go instead of the prayer room in the chapel? What will I do without high school girls to hang out with at 707 thursday mornings at chic fil a and 727 monday nights? Will I have a church? Will I have hearing friends? Will I feel isolated? I am so scared. Will I cry when I drop my dad off at the airport? Will it be the longest sixteen weeks of my life?
God remind me that You are there. Give me peace. Deep sink in my bones peace. Give me hope like light like Megan. Help me trust in your unfailing word and love. Help me rest in the gospel of your love. Help me celebrate everytime I get to see snowfall. Help me be thankful about everything. Help me grow more in love with you than I ever have in my life. Help me seek you especially if I don't have a church. Help me know I'm not alone. You are good in these things God. I know you hold true to your promises. Help me discover new ways of seeking and being faithful and loving you and my family back in virginia and boiling springs. Help me not feel far from anyone. Spur pople on to sending me love and encouragement and help me to do the same. Lord, help me to not be afraid because at 12:24 am on December 26th I am.
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