I'm writing this in hopes that I can look back on it in four months (or three weeks) and realize how silly I was for feeling this way. This is not the first time I have gotten upset over the thought of moving to Colorado but this time it feels a lot closer and real. I just spent the best weekend ever with two of my brothers and it was seriously the best. Until 11 pm tonight when I had to say bye to Zachary and it was really bye until May. May seems so far away, it is December right now. Then Sam and I sat on the couch and watched more Adventure Time and laughed more and both fell asleep. I woke Sam up and told him we had to go to bed and he said I have to hang out with you tonight and for four more months to make up for the time we won't have. I don't know how I will survive four months without seeing and laughing in person with my best friend. In person, in car rides, in hours on the couch watching Adventure Time, in hard conversations, in laughs till we cry-that is how we are best friends. What will I do without that for four months? What will I do without Broad River Community Church? What will I do without the coffee shop and knowing I will always see my best friends there? What will I do without running endless circles around Boiling Springs and also knowing I am bound to run into someone I know. Where will I go instead of the prayer room in the chapel? What will I do without high school girls to hang out with at 707 thursday mornings at chic fil a and 727 monday nights? Will I have a church? Will I have hearing friends? Will I feel isolated? I am so scared. Will I cry when I drop my dad off at the airport? Will it be the longest sixteen weeks of my life?
God remind me that You are there. Give me peace. Deep sink in my bones peace. Give me hope like light like Megan. Help me trust in your unfailing word and love. Help me rest in the gospel of your love. Help me celebrate everytime I get to see snowfall. Help me be thankful about everything. Help me grow more in love with you than I ever have in my life. Help me seek you especially if I don't have a church. Help me know I'm not alone. You are good in these things God. I know you hold true to your promises. Help me discover new ways of seeking and being faithful and loving you and my family back in virginia and boiling springs. Help me not feel far from anyone. Spur pople on to sending me love and encouragement and help me to do the same. Lord, help me to not be afraid because at 12:24 am on December 26th I am.
i love you]